Monday, February 4, 2013

NBA Secret to Greatness: Weird Mouth Habits

Year after year, draft class after draft class, rookie players enter the NBA hoping to make their mark and become a great in the NBA, aiming for at least an All-Star appearance or a place in the Hall of Fame.

Good news for these rookies as a startling discovery has been made that points directly to the secret to being a great player, and by great I mean the best player of your generation. Michael Jordan, Lebron James and Kobe Bryant all share one thing in common that explains their greatness. Nope it's not athleticism, skill, competitiveness, desire, ambition, passion or motivation. Throw all of that aside. Their  common secret is: Weird Mouth Habits.

Yeap, the one unflinchingly undeniable fact, weird mouth habits somehow brings you MVP awards, scoring titles and Championships. Let's take a look at these three NBA greats.

1. Michael Jordan/ Sticking-out-of-tongue

What an amazingly long tongue

Would you just look at that?! I think it's safe to say that MJ pioneered weird mouth habit #1. The tongue was always out when it came to dunks, layups, step back jumpers or a fadeaways. Amazingly enough the ball usually ended up at the bottom of the net. Many debate that it was the unusual tactic of using his tongue to achieve an inhuman balance on those classic fadeaways that led to his amazing balance to finish off the shots. In retrospect, that makes lots of sense. With a career 30.1 ppg, definitely, tongue don't lie.

2. Kobe Bryant/ Collar-Sweat-Sucking
Now that's what i call hydration!

Chew, suck, bite on your sweaty collar, good for dried lips but even better for your Hall of Fame credentials. Finally, after 17 seasons in the NBA, Kobe has revealed his secret. Rehydrating on your own sweat is apparently a method for churning out greatness. I have not seen another player doing that to his collar, and that's probably why Kobe's is and was a cut above the rest. Kobe now needs one more championship ring to match MJ, and we all know what he'll do-Suck that collar!

3. Lebron James/ Mouth-Guard-Displaying

Extreme tooth decay, oh wait! those are letters..

Number one way to motivate yourself to a championship: print the number of games you have to win in the playoffs on your mouth guard in roman numerals. That's what LBJ did and he proceeded to collect his first championship ring on his third try. Why did he not win the first two times? Lack of motivational mouth guards of course. Again this habit is an unprecedented one. Of course we have players chewing on their mouth guards like gum, but mouth guards with printed roman numerals? That's a first. Now as Lebron goes for his next title, we can expect to see alot more of this(see picture) but maybe in numbers or words next time, who knows?

Already young NBA players have started to learn this trade secret and develop weird mouth habits to lead them to their Championship-winning, league-dominating, MVP-chasing, Hall-of-Fame-Induction-ing career

Blake Griffin, Steph Curry, Jimmy Butler

And there you go, basketball's biggest secret is officially out, now go ahead and win some chips!


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